Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
