I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
