Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
