Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
