Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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