but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
