we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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