That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
