i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
