My first STD was from a foam party
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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