At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
