So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
