So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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