i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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