I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
