I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
