I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
