yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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