Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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