I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
