If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
