It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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