All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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