Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
