Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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