I love black thongs
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
