There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i now understand why vodka
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
