I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
