Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
