Me too!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
