He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
