I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i've created a new STD.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
