I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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