I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
