We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
