So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
