He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Congratulations! We have a period
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