I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
