Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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