i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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