I'm drive I can fine osifer
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
