Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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