so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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