he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
