no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
