Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
