i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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