He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
