does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
