Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Green mimosas i think yes
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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